I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize