Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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