this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
