im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
wow bdsm is so cute
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