porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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