For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
