At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
