So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
