SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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