Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
