we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
