hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that's an acceptable place to lick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
