I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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