Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
