I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
