my mouth tastes like poor choices
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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