i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
