For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
