Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
