i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He better not be in your backpack
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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