How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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