Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
