You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
