Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
