I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
COCAINE IS GR8
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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