I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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