Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
