If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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