sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
