I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
