I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
