she was so not down for the gang bang
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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