I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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