if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Operation Purity has been aborted
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
