Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
