I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
