So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize