so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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