it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
