You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
