Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
