how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize