So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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