sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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