Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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