A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
