i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
