i permit you to call me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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