i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
