Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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