I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
