got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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