apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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