I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize