So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
