HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
