maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
