and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
