I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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